Stripper: Death by Coin! UPDATE
Can you imagine being a stripper up on stage and you are working it and guys start throwing coins at you?
Well, that could happen if the GAO (Government Accountability Office) gets their way. The GAO and others are pushing to replace the dollar bill with a dollar coin. Apparently, it would save the US somewhere around $4.4 billion in 30 years (in comparison to what we spend a year on military expenditures that doesn’t really seem like much does it). The cost of making the coin is $.30 vs $.05 for the dollar bill but the coin has a lifespan of 30 years vs. the dollar bill at less than 5 years. Either way our government is selling it to us for a dollar so they are still making bank but why not make even more, yes? Let’s just call it… going green.
So, here are my predictions if this happens. The stripping industry will change and there will be a clear distinction between upper class and lower class clubs and dancers. Why? Well, all of you cheap fellas will be forced to make it rain with $5 bills or higher…unless someone comes up with the brilliant idea to stick a glass wall between you and the dancer and a coin machine on your side that eats up these coins…(the way of the future brought to you by Gigi Smith). Quality dancers will be a hot commodity. Smart business owners will recognize the changes and the need to satisfy their clients – because of the adjustment in the amount one will need to make it rain – and they will rely on their most skilled workers to make guys come out of pocket.
The only clear way around this is for strip clubs to function like casinos right? Come in with your coins, exchange them for $1 bills (or monopoly money) and at the end of the night the girls exchange their dollars/monopoly money for coins or higher bills…again brought to you by Gigi Smith.
Well there you have it folks. Either adhere to the changes outlined in my predictions or prepare to see a lot of strippers in and out of urgent care. For all my aspiring strippers prepare to set yourself apart and if done correctly “paying for college” should be a breeze.